Rabu, 30 Juni 2010

She Said on Her bLog..




Foto Saya
moshi-moshi

Rabu, 30 Juni 2010

my resentment this morning

just woke up and I rushed immediately to open my laptop and see the web of announcement IPDN.
and apparently my name does not exist.
I failed the medical tests.
I'm angry + upset + feel like everything is not fair. why i say like that??
because I've been practicing physical more than three months ago and I failed only in medical tests.
Ewww... How sad..!!!

sorry mom, I've make u disappointed again

ok, forget it...

weel, These day I'm bad mood.
I became so sensitive.
including also sensitive to my munyi-munyi.
sorry, but maybe I was already in emotional peak.

I was saturated through this relationship.

I can be very grumpy and annoying sometimes, okay, most of the times, i often act like I'm the only child.

maybe He had better looking for a girl who can understand him anymore. not a girl like me
:((

in the words of the red,
He expressed her personality that was bad ..
and considers hermself unworthy to mine ..

I'm here to say ...

"I don't like what you imagine.. I still love you.. however the attitude and character that you've got.. there's only you my heart.. it's just, I want you to think so too.."



therefore ..
please do not dawned on you mind if my man like that ..

I
accept all your circumstances, so long as you also ..
I will love you more, if you also ..
I will take better care of you, if you also ..
I always consider you light my heart, if you also ..
I will make you queen of my heart, if you made me king of your heart ..
so,
please make me part of you ..
because I'll assume you're more of a part of me ..

I love you so much ..
I really love you ..
I want my firefly is always shining me
..

(dedicated to my firefly)


Minggu, 27 Juni 2010

FirefLy

When I said go I never meant away
You ought to know the freaky games we play
could you forgive and learn how to forget
hear me as I'm calling out your name

Firefly come back to me
make the night as bright as day
I'll be looking out for you
tell me that you're lonely too
firefly come lead me on
follow you into the sun
that's the way it ought to be
firefly come back to me

You and me
we shared a mystery
we were so close
like honey to the bee
And if you tell me how to make you understand
A minor in a major kind of way

Firefly come back to me
make the night as bright as day
I'll be looking out for you
tell me that you're lonely too
firefly come lead me on
follow you into the sun
that's the way it ought to be
firefly come back to me

Fly firefly through the sky
come and play with my desire
don't be long don't ask why
I can't wait another night

Sabtu, 26 Juni 2010


Is this meant delays in love
Pelaku:
Aku = Lazaruz (aza)
Fai = Firefly ku
GAze.inc and Lediizt


Sudah setahun aku berada di kota Medan, meninggalkan kota Tebing tinggi tercinta. Disini pula aku mencoba mencari pengalaman hidup untuk bekal masa depanku. Dan ini semua harus aku lakukan walaupun aku meninggalkan kota Tebing yang penuh kenangan, jauh dari keluarga, jauh dari teman-teman dan pastinya jauh dari seseorang yang aku cintai. Kadang-kadang di suatu malam sebelum aku tertidur, kenangan-kenangan indah itu muncul kembali mengusik tidurku. Sehingga mau tak mau aku ikut kembali terhanyut kembali ke masa lalu sebelum kepergianku ke Medan. ”Hari Minggu aku mau pergi ke Medan” kataku pada Fai dua hari sebelum kepergianku. ”Kok kamu baru bilang sekarang...??” kata Fai sedikit kaget. Raut wajahnya yang awalnya cerah berubah sedikit kecewa dan sedih. ”Karena aku gak ingin buat kamu sedih Fai, sebelum aku pergi” kataku sedikit menenangkan dirinya walaupun masih ada raut kesedian diwajahnya. Kemudian Fai dan aku terdiam, merenungi kenyataan yang akan terjadi, terpisah dalam jarak yang jauh dan dalam waktu yang belum bisa ditentukan. ”Berarti Aza ninggalin aku disini kan...??” tiba-tiba Fai bertanya memecah kesunyian. ”Walaupun aku jauh dari Fai tapi sayangku akan selalu menemani Fai” jawabku tegas. ”Ntar kalau Fai kangen kan bisa lewat SMS atau telpon” kataku lagi. Akhirnya ketenangan mulai tampak diwajah manisnya Fai setelah kukatakan hal itu. Waktu selalu berjalan tanpa bisa kita hentikan. Keberangkatanku pun tidak dapat ditunda lagi. Sebelum pergi Fai berkata kepadaku ”Aza jangan lupain Fai ya...” katanya. ”Aku gak akan ngelupai Fai kok” kataku. ”Selama cinta masih ada dihati Fai, selama itu pula Fai akan ada dihatiku” kataku lagi. Kemudian Fai dapat melepas kepergianku dengan tenang, walaupun masih terasa kesedihan diraut wajahnya. Lewat kaca jendela bus yang kunaiki, aku melihat Fai melambaikan tangan diselimuti kesedihan. Lambat laun Fai terlihat semakin jauh, seirng dengan laju bus yang kunaiki. Selama diperjalanan tak ada keceriaan yang bisa kurasakan, selain hanya merenungi takdir hidup yang harus kujalani, walaupun itu begitu berat bagiku. Selama satu bulan dikota Medan, kerinduanku masih bisa terobati, karena kami masih bisa berkomunikasi lewat SMS atau telpon. Aku dan Fai pun mulai terbiasa dengan kondisi yang jauh. Tapi setelah memasuki dua bulan, komunikasi kami mulai terhenti, Fai perlahan-lahan mulai berubah. Mulai dari tak pernah balas SMS dariku hingga tidak mengangkat telpon. Apalagi setelah ada satu masalah yang mengaitkan soal kegemaran. Maka awal mula kisah pahitku terjadi. Disuatu malam aku berfikir mungkin Fai telah menemukan pengganti diriku, yang bisa membuatnya bahagia lagi disana. Akhirnya aku memutuskan untuk melupakan Fai. Saat itu pula aku teringat kata-kata ku kepada Fai sebelum aku pergi ”Selama ada cinta dihati Fai, maka Fai akan selalu ada dihatiku”. Akhirnya aku mengerti cinta Fai untukku sudah hilang. Jadi percuma saja aku terlalu dalam memendam cinta dan kerinduan di hati kalau akhirnya hanya kekosongan yang aku dapatkan. Sampai sekarang aku hanya mampu berharap dan menanti seorang Fai yang dulu lagi, atau akankah kutemukan sosok Fai yang lain yang bisa mengobati kekecewaan dan kerinduanku. Waktu akan terus berjalan di dalam kisah-kisah kehidupanku, hingga suatu saat akan kutemukan jawaban dari setiap lembaran kisah yang kujalani.

"Aku bukan Tuhan...

Yang mampu mengubah jalan kehidupan...

Mengubah benci menjadi cinta...

Mengubah cerita menjadi nyata...

Aku hanya manusia biasa...

Yang akan selalu menjalani kehidupan...

Yang hanya berharap cinta dan kasih sayang…
Yang akan selalu menjadi tokoh cerita dalam kenyataan...
Hanya waktu...

Yang mampu menjawab semua misteri kehidupan..."


Setahun tak terasa berlalu.. begitu banyak hal2 yang kulewati dlam kurun waktu tsb... mulai dari jalinan sahabat, mencoba menatih cinta kembali Lewat berbagai macam wanita2 yang ada, namun hasil nihil, dan juga menemukan kembali serpihan "Lazaruz" yang hilang. mencoba menemukan diriku yang pernah dimiliki oleh seorang Firefly.. Yah, Dia lah.. Hanya dia yg memang dapat mengembalikan aku seperti dulu. Barawal dari selesai SMA nya, aku mulai sedikit menatap cahaya cerah.. Memang sudah tebersit di benak, aku yakin inilah jalanku. Temukan kembali Fireflyku yang hilang adalah jalan satu2nya. "Ini awal langkahmu Aza", Batinku bergumam. Ku mulai lagi semua dari awal. Mulai memberi kabar, walaupun hanya sekedar basa basi. gerak jari kini mulai giat merangkai kata2 walau hanya berbentuk pesan singkat sms. tapi inilah yang hanya bisa kulakukan. dan terus berkelanjutan hingga mulai adanya kembali pertemuan. semua ini terjadi diluar akal fikiirku. hanya sebuah special thankz buat sohib2 gaze.inc dan juga sohib aku yakni Tria. Tak terelakkan pertemuan demi bertemuan semakin intens dikarenakan kedua sahabat kami menjalani sebuah hubungan special dari SMA, kini kami pun dapat mejalani serpihan2 yang hilang dimasa dulu walau masih sebatas pertemanan biasa. Puncak semua ini terjadi dikala tergerak niat untuk menjejakkan kembali kaki kami di kampung halaman. Namun siapa sangka berhubung hari llibur itu dikarenakan adanya pemilihan kepala daerah, sehingga membuat kami harus merelakan kepulangan kami malam itu dikarenakan semua angkutan telah habis. hanya satu2nya jalan keluar dari semua ini. yakni bermalam di salah satu rumah sahabat kami yang berada tak jauh dari tempat kejadian perkara. Semua berawal dari sini.Kegembiraan yang pernah ku rasakan sepanjang umurku. walau dikehidupan sebelumnya aku tak terelakkan dengan situasi in, namun sungguh kali ini beda. hanya saja kelemahanku, aku tidak mampu megulas di blog ku ini. Cinta yang sempat menjadi sebuah angan, mencuat kembali.


"with a kiss from her lips, my love has blossomed in his heart again.
11-12 is at the starting point O'2 Love stepped back. with hope, love, warm hugs, the beauty of our love to start again. this is our love story.
I'm his.. I'm her.. present O'2 Love..

Jumat, 25 Juni 2010

Describes of Love

Love

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Archetypal lovers Romeo and Juliet portrayed by Frank Dicksee.

Love is any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection[1] and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my wife"). This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.[3] Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.


Definitions

Part of a series on Love
Emblem-favorites.svg
Basic Aspects
Charity
Human bonding
Chemical basis
Religious views
Philosophy of love
Historically
Courtly love
Types of emotion
Eroticism
Platonic love
Familial love
Romance
See also
Puppy love
Limerence
Love sickness
Love addiction
Human sexuality
Unrequited love
Valentine's Day
Sexual intercourse
Interpersonal relationship

The word "love" can have a variety of related but distinct meanings in different contexts. Often, other languages use multiple words to express some of the different concepts that English relies mainly on "love" to encapsulate; one example is the plurality of Greek words for "love." Cultural differences in conceptualizing love thus make it doubly difficult to establish any universal definition.[4]

Although the nature or essence of love is a subject of frequent debate, different aspects of the word can be clarified by determining what isn't love. As a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like), love is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral apathy); as a less sexual and more emotionally intimate form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust; and as an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is commonly contrasted with friendship, although other definitions of the word love may be applied to close friendships in certain contexts.

Fraternal love (Prehispanic sculpture from 250–900 A.D., of Huastec origin). Museum of Anthropology in Xalapa, Veracruz, Mexico.

When discussed in the abstract, love usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience felt by a person for another person. Love often involves caring for or identifying with a person or thing, including oneself (cf. narcissism). In addition to cross-cultural differences in understanding love, ideas about love have also changed greatly over time. Some historians date modern conceptions of romantic love to courtly Europe during or after the Middle Ages, although the prior existence of romantic attachments is attested by ancient love poetry.[5]

Two hands forming the outline of a heart shape.

Because of the complex and abstract nature of love, discourse on love is commonly reduced to a thought-terminating cliché, and there are a number of common proverbs regarding love, from Virgil's "Love conquers all" to the Beatles' "All you need is love." St. Thomas Aquinas, following Aristotle, defines love as "to will the good of another."[6] Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of "absolute value," as opposed to relative value. Philosopher Gottfried Leibniz said that love is "to be delighted by the happiness of another."[7]

Love is sometimes referred to as being the "international language", overriding cultural and linguistic divisions.

Impersonal love

A person can be said to love an object, principle, or goal if they value it greatly and are deeply committed to it. Similarly, compassionate outreach and volunteer workers' "love" of their cause may sometimes be borne not of interpersonal love, but impersonal love coupled with altruism and strong political convictions. People can also "love" material objects, animals, or activities if they invest themselves in bonding or otherwise identifying with those things. If sexual passion is also involved, this condition is called paraphilia.[8]

Interpersonal love

Interpersonal love refers to love between human beings. It is a more potent sentiment than a simple liking for another. Unrequited love refers to those feelings of love that are not reciprocated. Interpersonal love is most closely associated with interpersonal relationships. Such love might exist between family members, friends, and couples. There are also a number of psychological disorders related to love, such as erotomania.

Throughout history, philosophy and religion have done the most speculation on the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. In recent years, the sciences of evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have added to the understanding of the nature and function of love.

Chemical basis

Biological models of sex tend to view love as a mammalian drive, much like hunger or thirst.[9] Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love, divides the experience of love into three partly overlapping stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust exposes people to others; romantic attraction encourages people to focus their energy on mating; and attachment involves tolerating the spouse (or indeed the child) long enough to rear a child into infancy.

Simplified overview of the chemical basis of love.

Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months. Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an individual mate forms. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which act in a manner similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side effects such as increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.[10]

Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. Attachment is the bonding that promotes relationships lasting for many years and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin to a greater degree than short-term relationships have.[10] Enzo Emanuele and coworkers reported the protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these return to previous levels after one year.[11]